My hesitation, due to the fact that what I write won't do justice to the woman I am writing about. It's difficult to write about truly extraordinary people. Accomplished people are easy...rattling off a list of things they have done which are impressive and easily esteemed. But, to write about a truly extraordinary person is almost impossible- because capturing essence and lightness of being...forced into paragraphs, fails to convey the magnificence of who the person is. In this case, a woman of rare all encompassing beauty. A wife. A mother. A teacher. A friend. A mentor. A fighter. An inspirer. An encourager. An artist. A soul so imbued with kindness and love, as to leave indelible marks on all who crossed her path.
So, this is for you Rebecca Jackson Schwartz. My dear friend...as I sit at my computer with tears streaming down my cheeks, as my heart sends all the love it can in prayer, across the miles, to be with you in the twilight. I know you would smile at me, at Katy, at all of us...and tell us to seek what is most important in this life- to live well, to live in love, service to all, goodness, and kindness toward others.
For Becky: Beautiful sparkly brown eyes shine with love, and a smile that makes everything feel softer and eased.
For Becky: Who taught me from the first week of my own cancer diagnosis, what my attitude needed to be to fight for my life. She reminded me that God had us in His grand design and plan. She taught me how to love others in suffering, how to surrender, how to be courageous, and how to have real hope. She taught me I could control my responses, when I couldn't control anything else. She taught me to try to do everything I could to live, but not to be afraid if I was being called home to God. Most importantly: she taught me not to lose my laughter, and demanded I laugh through the pain to survive it.
For Becky: Because her heart pitter patters as much as mine does for our Colin. For the days when I didn't have the energy to pick up my own phone or read a text. But I could smile through a medicated haze, hearing, "Look, Becky sent you a photo." It's my turn to return the favor dear girl.
For Becky: Who has loved Katy since high school. Who has been with Katy in the depths of pain as she struggled to cope with her best friends having cancer at the same time. Becky, who will love Katy through the rest of this life and all of the next. Becky, who will be in the stream of sunshine warming Katy's face, the moments of glad grace, and in all the stories about you, that Katy will save for your sweet son. Katy will carry your heart in her own.
For Becky: Who has lived this quote perfectly. Who fought cancer year after year after year, pain after excruciating pain, surgeries, treatments, chemo after chemo, in love and in gratitude. Who listened to me cry as I wished for a brief moment that I hadn't survived, because the physical pain was so overwhelming. Becky who calmed me as I said over and over, "How have you done it, Becky? How have you pushed through this? How do you keep the light in your soul?" Becky, who forced me to memorize this and live it with her.
For Becky: Who could keep a sense of humor in the worst of times. Who fought for justice for others with passionate resolve. Becky, who could bring kindness to anyone, who listened patiently, and who has been doing this every day I've known her. Becky, who many describe as, "the kindest and most loving person they've ever met."
For Becky: For the five minutes in which our entire conversation was a departure from our norm, singing a song to ourselves on the phone, with lyrics solely consisting of, "Fuck Cancer, Fuck Cancer, Fuuuuuccck Cancer!" (In a round)
For Becky: Who has an indomitable spirit, who has not given up, who has taken hit after hit, maintaining gratitude for her life and joy for the gift of living. Who reminded all of us, "You don't have to have physical health to be happy, you have to have love. If you have love, you will have a great deal of gratitude, joy, and peace."
For Becky: Who is the personification of this four-leaved clover
For Becky: I will sing and pray the psalms of your beloved Tehillim for you, when you are too weak to lift your voice. I love you sweet friend, and love remains eternal.
Psalm 102
O LORD, hear my prayer;
let my cry come before You.
Do not hide Your face from me
in my time of trouble;
turn Your ear to me;
when I cry, answer me speedily.
For my days have vanished like smoke
and my bones are charred like a hearth.
My body is stricken and withered like grass;
too wasted to eat my food.
Psalm 130
A song of Ascent
Out of the depths I call
to You, O Lord.
My Lord, hearken to my
voice; let Your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas.
G‑d, if You were to
preserve iniquities, my Lord, Who could survive?
But forgiveness is with
You, that You may be feared.
I hope in the Lord; my
soul hopes, and I long for His word.
My soul yearns for the
Lord more than [night] watchmen [waiting] for the morning, wait for the
morning.
Israel, put your hope in
the Lord, for with the Lord there is kindness; with Him there is abounding
deliverance.
And He will redeem Israel
from all its iniquities.
